Clever Sayings
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
1. CHURCH PARKING - FOR MEMBERS ONLY!
Trespassers will be baptized!
2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
5. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding
stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed
and a headline that reads, -"For Fast Relief, Take Two Tablets."
6. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot
water before you know how strong they are."
7. "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush."
8. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
9. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-Smoking."
10. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives."
11. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long
and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of
this world."
12. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
13. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
14. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
15. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain
eternal fire Insurance soon."
16. "A ch__ch is a church when (U R) in it.
17. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
18. "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
<><> Man vs.Woman <><> 
A man is a person who, if a woman says,
"Never mind, I'll do it myself;" lets her.
A woman is a person who, if she says to a
man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and
he lets her; gets mad.
A man is a person who, if a woman says to
him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and
he lets her and she gets mad; says, "Now
what are you mad about?"
A woman is a person who, if she says to a
man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and
he lets her and she gets mad, and he says,
"Now what are mad about?" says, "If you
don't know I'm not going to tell you!"
One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to
her grandparents' home for an overnight stay. It was
late, there was very little traffic, and we were enjoying
a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos
surrounding us when I drive her to various activities
during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said,
"I have a question."
"What do you want to know?" I responded.
"Mom, when you're driving," she asked,
"are YOU ever the idiot?"
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
| Normal Subscribe: | clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org |
| Normal Unsubscribe: | clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org |
| Web Subscribe: | clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org |
| Web Unsubscribe: | clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org |
| Email Group Owner: | clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org |