"Company Motivation Posters You Will Never See"

#1 · March 24, 2005, 4:31 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on March 24, 2005, 4:31 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Company Motivation Posters You Will Never See"

1) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

2) It's only unethical if you get caught.

3) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

4) We put the "k" in "kwality."

5) If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.

6) Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!

7) A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

8) ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.

9) 2 days without a Human Rights Violation!

10) If at first you don't succeed, try management.

11) Never quit until you have another job.

12) The floggings will continue until morale improves.

"Feeling Safe"

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a
tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators
kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the
shore, the tourist shouted,
"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been
around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming
leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you
get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."

"Something Stupid"

Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"

"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)

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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

1) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

2) It's only unethical if you get caught.

3) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

4) We put the "k" in "kwality."

5) If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.

6) Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!

7) A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

8) ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.

9) 2 days without a Human Rights Violation!

10) If at first you don't succeed, try management.

11) Never quit until you have another job.

12) The floggings will continue until morale improves.

"Feeling Safe"

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a
tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators
kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the
shore, the tourist shouted,
"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been
around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming
leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you
get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."

"Something Stupid"

Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"

"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)

Necessary Legal Information

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.1 - Release Date: 3/23/2005

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>