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COMPUTER CAMP Wednesday
#1 · August 4, 2004, 10:07 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Please keep Niki in your prayers. Niki continues to show signs of improvement each day. God is answering our prayers and please keep praying for Niki.
Thank You
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Thank You
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Computer Camp
It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy.
Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for
Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with
swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire, you know. There were
sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military camps
and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying. We tried to talk him into
Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable picture
out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of it. Billy
pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP! We should
have put our foot down right there, if only we had known. He left three
weeks ago. I don't know what's happened. He's changed. I can't explain it.
See for yourself.
Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for
Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with
swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire, you know. There were
sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military camps
and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying. We tried to talk him into
Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable picture
out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of it. Billy
pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP! We should
have put our foot down right there, if only we had known. He left three
weeks ago. I don't know what's happened. He's changed. I can't explain it.
See for yourself.
These are some of my little Billy's letters.
Dear Mom,
The kids are dorky nerds. The food stinks. The computers are the only good
part. We're learning how to program. Late at night is the best time to
program, so they let us stay up.
Love, Billy.
The kids are dorky nerds. The food stinks. The computers are the only good
part. We're learning how to program. Late at night is the best time to
program, so they let us stay up.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mom,
Camp is O.K. Last night we had pizza in the middle of the night. We all get
to choose what we want to drink. I drink Classic Coke. By the way, can you
make Szechuan food? I'm getting used to it now. Gotta go, it's time for the
flowchart class.
Love, Billy.
P.S. This is written on a word processor. Pretty swell, huh? It's spell
checked, too.
Camp is O.K. Last night we had pizza in the middle of the night. We all get
to choose what we want to drink. I drink Classic Coke. By the way, can you
make Szechuan food? I'm getting used to it now. Gotta go, it's time for the
flowchart class.
Love, Billy.
P.S. This is written on a word processor. Pretty swell, huh? It's spell
checked, too.
Dear Mom,
Don't worry. We do regular camp stuff. We told ghost stories by the glow of
the green computer screens. It was real neat. I don't have much of a tan
'cause we don't go outside very often. You can't see the computer screen in
the sunlight anyway. That wimp camp I went to last year fed us weird food
too. Relax, Mom. I'm okay, really.
Love, Billy.
Don't worry. We do regular camp stuff. We told ghost stories by the glow of
the green computer screens. It was real neat. I don't have much of a tan
'cause we don't go outside very often. You can't see the computer screen in
the sunlight anyway. That wimp camp I went to last year fed us weird food
too. Relax, Mom. I'm okay, really.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mom,
I'm fine - I'm sleeping enough - I'm eating enough. This is the best camp
ever! We scared the counselor with some phony worm code. It was real funny.
He got mad and yelled. Frederick says it's okay. Can you send more money? I
spent mine on a pocket protector and a box of blank diskettes. I've got to
chip in on the phone bill. Did you know that you can talk to people on a
computer? Give my regards to Dad.
Love, Billy.
I'm fine - I'm sleeping enough - I'm eating enough. This is the best camp
ever! We scared the counselor with some phony worm code. It was real funny.
He got mad and yelled. Frederick says it's okay. Can you send more money? I
spent mine on a pocket protector and a box of blank diskettes. I've got to
chip in on the phone bill. Did you know that you can talk to people on a
computer? Give my regards to Dad.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mother,
Forget the money for the telephone. We've got a way to not pay. Sorry I
haven't written. I've been learning a lot. I'm real good at getting onto any
computer in the country. (It's really easy!) I got into the university's in
less than fifteen minutes. Frederick did it in five, he's going to show me
how. Frederick is my bunk partner. He's really smart. He says that I
shouldn't call myself Billy anymore. So, I'm not.
Signed, Bill.
Forget the money for the telephone. We've got a way to not pay. Sorry I
haven't written. I've been learning a lot. I'm real good at getting onto any
computer in the country. (It's really easy!) I got into the university's in
less than fifteen minutes. Frederick did it in five, he's going to show me
how. Frederick is my bunk partner. He's really smart. He says that I
shouldn't call myself Billy anymore. So, I'm not.
Signed, Bill.
Dear Mother,
How nice of you to come up on Parents Day. Why'd you get so upset? I haven't
gained that much weight. The glasses aren't real. Everybody wears them. I
was trying to fit in. Believe me, the tape on them is cool. I thought that
you'd be proud of my program. After all, I've made some money on it. A
publisher is sending a check for $30,000. Anyway, I've paid for the next six
weeks of camp. I won't be home until late August.
Regards, Bill.
How nice of you to come up on Parents Day. Why'd you get so upset? I haven't
gained that much weight. The glasses aren't real. Everybody wears them. I
was trying to fit in. Believe me, the tape on them is cool. I thought that
you'd be proud of my program. After all, I've made some money on it. A
publisher is sending a check for $30,000. Anyway, I've paid for the next six
weeks of camp. I won't be home until late August.
Regards, Bill.
Mother,
Stop treating me like a child. True... physically I am only ten years old.
It was silly of you to try to kidnap me. Do not try again. Remember, I can
make your life miserable (i.e. the bank, credit bureau, and government
computers.) I am not kidding. O.K.? I won't write again, and this is your
only warning. The emotions of this interpersonal communication drain me.
Sincerely, Bill.
Stop treating me like a child. True... physically I am only ten years old.
It was silly of you to try to kidnap me. Do not try again. Remember, I can
make your life miserable (i.e. the bank, credit bureau, and government
computers.) I am not kidding. O.K.? I won't write again, and this is your
only warning. The emotions of this interpersonal communication drain me.
Sincerely, Bill.
See what I mean? It's been two weeks since I've heard from my little boy.
What can I do, Jenny? I know that it's probably too late to save my little
Billy. But, if by printing these letters you can save JUST ONE CHILD from a
life of programming, please, I beg of you to do so. Thank you very much,
What can I do, Jenny? I know that it's probably too late to save my little
Billy. But, if by printing these letters you can save JUST ONE CHILD from a
life of programming, please, I beg of you to do so. Thank you very much,
Sally Gates, Concerned Parent
The Computer's Swallowed Grandma
The computer's swallowed grandma
Yes' honestly' its true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
Yes' honestly' its true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
Its devoured her completely
The thought just makes me squirm.
Maybe she's caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind.
I've even used the Internet
But nothing did I find.
In desperation I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative
Not a thing was found 'online'.
So, if inside your 'In Box'
My Grandma you should see.
Please 'Scan', 'Copy' and 'Paste' her
In an e-mail back to me.
My Grandma you should see.
Please 'Scan', 'Copy' and 'Paste' her
In an e-mail back to me.
Overheard In A Restaurant
Waitress: Are you very Hungary?
Diner: Yes, Siam.
Waitress: What would you like me to Serbia?
Diner: I'll have a Turkey sandwich and a cup of coffee.
Waitress: Would you like anything India coffee?
Diner: Just a Cuba sugar would be fine.
Waitress: Okay, I'll Russia your order.
Diner: I hope the sandwich doesn't have any Greece on it.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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