Cops and Robbers
Quote from Forum Archives on June 2, 2004, 9:47 amPosted by: Bigguyhereagain <Bigguyhereagain@...>
Cops and RobbersEsther Cohen was the mother of three, very active small boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard after dinner.One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up for 20 minutes, a neighbor came over to see if she had been hurt in the fall.
When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. This is the only chance I've had to rest all day."
It's Your Choice
One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to
consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor
glanced down and noticed that someone had
contributed a $500 bill.
He was so excited that he immediately shared his
joy with his congregation, and said he'd like to
personally thank the person who had placed the
money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her
hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.
Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her
how wonderful it was that she gave so much and
asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the
congregation, pointed to the three huskiest men in
the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him.
They'll be perfect for weeding and painting my house."DessertAs dessert was served to the visiting pastor, the hostess
apologized for not having any cheese to go with the apple
pie. Hearing this, her little son slipped down from his chair
and left the room, then returned with a small piece of cheese
which he shyly placed on the pastor's plate."Why, thank you, son," said the guest as he popped the cheese
in his mouth, "You must have found the last piece! Where did
you find it?"Flushing with pride, the little boy said, "Oh, it was in the
mousetrap."Have a Blessed DayDave and BarbaraNecessary Legal InformationI do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
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Posted by: Bigguyhereagain <Bigguyhereagain@...>
One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up for 20 minutes, a neighbor came over to see if she had been hurt in the fall.
When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. This is the only chance I've had to rest all day."
One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to
consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor
glanced down and noticed that someone had
contributed a $500 bill.
He was so excited that he immediately shared his
joy with his congregation, and said he'd like to
personally thank the person who had placed the
money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her
hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.
Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her
how wonderful it was that she gave so much and
asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the
congregation, pointed to the three huskiest men in
the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him.
They'll be perfect for weeding and painting my house."
apologized for not having any cheese to go with the apple
pie. Hearing this, her little son slipped down from his chair
and left the room, then returned with a small piece of cheese
which he shyly placed on the pastor's plate.
"Why, thank you, son," said the guest as he popped the cheese
in his mouth, "You must have found the last piece! Where did
you find it?"
Flushing with pride, the little boy said, "Oh, it was in the
mousetrap."
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
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Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>