Quote from Forum Archives on June 10, 2005, 6:55 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Dear God"

 

 

 

 1.  Dear God,
  Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter.
  There is nothing good in there now.
  Amanda

 

  2.  Dear God,
  Thank  you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy.
  I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
  Joyce

 

  3.  Dear Mr.God,
  I wish you would not make it so easy
  for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
  Janet

 

  4.  God,
  I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
  Love Alison

 

  5.  Dear God,
  How did you know you were God? Who told you?
  Charlene

 

  6.  Dear God,
  Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his
  golf words in the house?
  Anita

 

  7.  Dear God,
  I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world.
  There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
  Nancy

 

  8.  Dear God,
  I like the story about Noah the best of all of them.
  You really made up some good ones.I like walking on water, too.
  Glenn

 

  9.  Dear God,
  My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy.
  How far back do you go?
  Love, Dennis

 

  10.  Dear God,
  Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?
  Nathan

 

  11.  Dear God,
  Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?
  Norma

 

  12.  Dear God,
  In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
  Jennifer

 

  13.  Dear God,
  How c! ome you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any
now?
  Billy

 

  14.  Dear God,
  Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
  Peter

 

  15.  Dear God,
  Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much
  if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.
  Larry

 

  16.  Dear God,
  I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet.
  What's up?  Don't forget.
  Mark

 

  17.  Dear God,
  My brother told me about how you are born
  but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?
  Marsha

 

  18.  Dear God,
  If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
  Barbara

 

  19.  Dear God,
  Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the
business?
  Donny

 

  20.  Dear God,
  I do not think anybody could be a better God than you.
  Well, I just want you to know that.I am not just saying that because
  you are already God.
  Charles

 

  21.  Dear God,
  It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place.
  Why can't you do that with the moon?
  Jeff

 

  22.  Dear! God,
  I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!
  Frank

 

  And, saving the best for last .  .

 

  23.  Dear God,
  I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset
  you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
  Thomas

 

 

"Retirement" 

 

 

I worked forty-five years for someone else
So that I could retire.
I dreamed of sleeping late
And sitting by the fire.

 

I dreamed of long vacations,
Enjoying stage and song.
But, let me set you straight on that concept,
It is simply.........wrong!

 

I did junk my safety glasses
And the work boots that cramped my toes.
But, the rest of it had a mind of its own
And this is how it goes.

 

My wife had been thinking of retirement
And had plans of her own.
She had spent much time with the kids
But, now they are grown and gone.

 

We sold our cattle and our horse
So we wouldn't have that chore.
I poured concrete over my alarm clock
But, I still wake up at four.

 

I get my eyes checked on Monday.
The wife's are checked the next day.
I go for a colon check on Wednesday
And pass my wife going the other way.

 

I have a dental appointment on Thursday.
The wife goes for a test on her heart.
Friday we go get prescriptions filled
And browse a while at Wal*Mart.

 

Saturdays we just stay home
And try to get the paper work right.
We can't take any overnight trips
'Cause we can't see to drive at night.

 

Restroom confusion keeps us out of church on Sunday
And we really do hate that.
There's nothing wrong with the restrooms,
We just can't remember where they're at

 

We don't need to plan next week,
Just make sure we can drive,
And not forget where the hospitals and clinics are.
We'll need them to survive.

 

So, don't build your castles too high, my friend,
While strolling through the clover.
This is a typical week in retirement
And on Monday we start all over!
Author Unknown

 

You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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