DEFINITIONS FOR PARENTS
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Thanks
Dave and Barbara
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
x*x DEFINITIONS FOR PARENTS x*x
FEEDBACK:
The inevitable result when a baby doesn't
appreciate the mashed carrots.
HEARSAY:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
PRENATAL:
When your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes.
STERILIZE:
What you do to your first baby's pacifier by
boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing
on it.
TOP BUNK:
Where you should never put a child wearing
Superman pajamas.
WHOOPS:
An exclamation that translates roughly into
"get a washrag."
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x
x*x Kids Statements x*x
Kids statements that are a little ... off track:
* God bless America Thru the night with a light from a bulb!
* 0 Susanna, 0 don't you cry for me, For I come from Alabama
with a band-aid on my knee!
* Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father
and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.
* We shall come to Joyce's, bringing in the cheese.
* Yield Not to Penn Station.
* Praise God From whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all
creatures, HERE WE GO
* Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call himnames.
* While shepherds washed their socks by night
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x
Thanks to Wayne Williams for sending this joke.
x*x The Last Rites x*x
A catholic man is struck by a bus on a busy street.
He is lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd
gathers. "A preacher. Somebody get me a preacher!"
the man gasps. Minutes drag on and no one steps
out of the crowd. A policeman checks the crowd and
finally yells, "A PRIEST, PLEASE! Isn't there a priest
in this crowd to give this man his last rites?"
Finally, out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man
of at least 80 years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says
the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Christian.
But for 50 years now I'm living behind the Catholic
Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm
overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it,
and maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor man."
The policeman agrees, and clears the crowd so the
man can get through to where the injured man lay.
The old Jewish man kneels down, leans over the
prostrate man and says in a solemn voice:
"B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72..."
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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