Dirty Little Fellow
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
The Tate Family
Do you know how many members of the TATE family belong to our congregation? There is old man DIC TATE who wants to run everything, while uncle RO TATE tries to change everything. Their sister, AGI TATE, stirs up plenty of trouble with help from her husband, IRRI TATE. Whenever new projects are suggested, HESI TATE and his wife, VEGI TATE, want to wait until next year. Brother FACILI TATE is quite helpful in church matters. And a happy member is Ms. FELICI TATE. Cousins COGI TATE and MEDI TATE always think things over and lend a helpful steady hand. And, of course, there is the bad seed in the family, AMPU TATE, who has cut himself off completely from the rest of the congregation.
Teacher Jokes
The teacher asked, " Can you give me a good example of how heat expands things and cold contracts them?"
"Well," one alert pupil answered, "the days are much longer in summer.''
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The kindergarten teacher was standing outside her room as the children entered one morning. Along came little David, deliberately winking his left eye.
"Why, David," said the teacher, "are you winking at me?"
"No, just got my turn signal on," David replied, making a neat left turn into his room.
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The absent-minded professor paused to chat awhile with one of his students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?''
"That way,'' the student pointed.
''Good,'' said the professor, ''then I've had my lunch."
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society.
When my turn came, I answered, "Blondes!"
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The fifth grader came home from school bubbling with excitement after having been voted "Prettiest Girl in the Class." She was even more excited when she came home the next day after the class had voted her "Most Popular." But several days later when she announced she had won a third contest, she was somewhat subdued.
"What were you voted this time?" her mother asked.
"Most Stuck-up,'" the girl replied.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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