"Discouraged"
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped
to watch a local Little League baseball game that
was being played in a park near my home. As I sat
down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked
one of the boys what the score was. "We're behind
14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.
"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very
discouraged."
"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look
on his face. "Why should we be discouraged? We
haven't been up to bat yet."
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in your house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled."
While he's on the roof, yell up to Santa, asking if he'd mind adjusting your TV antenna. When he does so, tell him, "That's good" and don't let him move until the commercials come on.
" Top 10 Times You Should Never Use Your Cell Phone " 
10. At the movies. Unless your conversation will be funnier
than what I'm seeing on the big screen.
9. During a funeral. Pay your respects with your heart, not
your ringtones.
8. In a meeting. Especially if you've called it. Or if your boss
is there.
7. In the hospital delivery room. Especially if it's your wife
(and child) on the table.
6. At a restaurant. Unless you're calling the waitperson
because your coffee cup has been empty longer than two
minutes.
5. At a wedding. The only rings here should be the ones on
the happy couple's fingers.
4. In a museum. You're there to use your eyes, not your ears.
3. While driving. You may like the challenge of handling a cell
phone, a steaming cup of coffee, the morning paper, and a
4,000 pound vehicle all at the same time, but it just ain't
safe.
2. In the bedroom. Do I really have to explain this?
AND THE NUMBER ONE TIME TO NEVER USE YOUR CELL PHONE
1. In worship. God may call you, but he won't do it through
Verizon.
Dave and Barbara
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