Don't talk to the Bird
Posted by: root <root@...>
she had to go to work the next day, she told him, "I'll leave the key under
the mat.
Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the
check. By the way, don't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you.
But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he
discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But
just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the
repairman go about his business. However, the parrot drove him nuts the
whole time, with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling.
Finally the repairman could contain himself no longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
Two farmers were comparing notes on the poor harvest.
"Jeb, I'm telling you the wheat was so poor I had to
harvest it with scissors."
"That's nothing, Grady. I had to lather my field and
shave it."