Dot Com Clean Hewmor
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of
leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from
town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving
thy
tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle
bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will
reply telling you
which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by
Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would
let Dot have her
way with the drums. The drums rang out andwere an immediate success.
Abraham sold
all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his
tent. But this success did arouse envy. A man named Mac Enron did
secret
himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And
the young men
did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel
dung. They were
called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for
short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were
going to the drum
maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company
in
the land. And
indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother
Gates' drumheads and
drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is
being
taken
over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or
as it came to be
known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are," and
Dot replied,
"Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner-Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.
2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents
occur in the home.
3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because
14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.
4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because
16% of all accidents involve these forms of
transportation.
5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in
hospitals. Above all else, avoid hospitals.
You will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all
deaths occur in worship services in church, and these
are usually related to previous physical disorders.
Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you
to be at any given point in time is at church!
Bible study is safe too. The percentage of deaths
during Bible study is even less.
FOR SAFETY'S SAKE - Attend church and read
your Bible ... IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!
Why Are You So Tired
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tired!"
Her husband looked over at her and said, "Look at me. I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons.
Why are *you* so tired?"
"Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them!"
Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>