Employee Evaluations
Posted by: root <root@...>
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows
signs of starting to dig.
2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
3. I would not allow this man to breed.
4. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definitely won't be.
5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap.
6. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever
foot was previously in there.
7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
8. This man has delusions of adequacy.
9. He sets low personal standards and the consistently fails to achieve
them.
10. This employee should go far -- the sooner he starts, the better.
11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.
14. A room temperature I.Q.
15. Got a full six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it
together.
16. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
19.Bright as Alaska in December.
20. One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests.
21. Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.
22. Fell out of his family tree.
23. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the trains isn't
coming.
____________________________________________________
Computers
=========
A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they
experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring
at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going.
The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen.
In her most reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to
know what your name is," then she walked over to the next child.
The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered,
"My name is David."