Quote from Forum Archives on February 9, 2007, 10:13 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Excited About Marriage"

 

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

 

'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.

 

Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'

 

Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'

 

Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'

 

Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '

 

Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'

 

Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'

 

Pharmacist: 'Of course.'

 

Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'

 

Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'

 

Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'

 

Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'

 

Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'

 

Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'

 

Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

 

"An Elderly Woman's Portrait"

 

 

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."

 

"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.

 

"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

 

"I Can't"

 

 

As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids,
maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front
of the store to raise money for their school band.

 

"I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to
the boys.  "You eat it for me."

 

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys.
He shook his head.  "I can't," he said.

 

"Why not?"

 

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "I'm not
supposed to take candy from strangers."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

 

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>