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Exercise Program Wednesday
#1 · June 8, 2005, 11:13 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Exercise Program"
Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you." I know that I should do it, but my body is out of shape, so I have worked out this easy daily program I can do anywhere. If I can do it, you can do this, too.
Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.
Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of molehills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of molehills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the bandwagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the bandwagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.
Thursday:
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
Saturday:
Pick up the pieces.
Pick up the pieces.
"Sunday School Teacher"
Good Samaritan
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of
the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and
left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail
so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the
class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all
wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful
little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw
up."
the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and
left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail
so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the
class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all
wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful
little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw
up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the
story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal.
She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it,
cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar And
then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four
barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do
this four times. "Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in
the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water
over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of
the room started waving her hand, "I know, I know," she
said, "to make the gravy!"
story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal.
She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it,
cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar And
then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four
barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do
this four times. "Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in
the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water
over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of
the room started waving her hand, "I know, I know," she
said, "to make the gravy!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife
looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little
Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she
was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned
into a telephone pole!"
looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little
Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she
was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned
into a telephone pole!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah
did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied
Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied
Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been
learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.
But, there is a higher power Can anybody tell me what it
is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"
learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.
But, there is a higher power Can anybody tell me what it
is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUNDAY SCHOOL
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had
learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us
how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission
to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red
Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all
the people walked across safely. Then, he used his
walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what
your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom.
But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!"
learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us
how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission
to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red
Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all
the people walked across safely. Then, he used his
walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what
your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom.
But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class
memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible;
Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the
verse. Little Bobby was excited about the task. But, he
just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he
could barely get past the first line. On the day that the
kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was his turn,
he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord
is my shepherd and that's all I need to know!"
From Brian
memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible;
Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the
verse. Little Bobby was excited about the task. But, he
just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he
could barely get past the first line. On the day that the
kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was his turn,
he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord
is my shepherd and that's all I need to know!"
From Brian
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Dave and Barbara
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