EXPLAINING GOD
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
for his third grade homework assignment to "Explain God"
to replace the ones that die so there will be enough
people to take care of things here on earth. He doesn't
make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are
smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn't have to
take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk,
He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.
An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like
preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime. God
doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV on account
of this. Since He hears everything, not only prayers, there
must be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has
thought of a way to turn it off.
which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting
His time by going over your parent's head asking for something
that they said you couldn't have.
there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any
who come to our church.
walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach
the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally
got tired of Him preaching to them and they crucified Him.
But He was good and kind like His Father and He told His
Father that they didn't know what they were doing and to
forgive them and God said OK. His Dad (God) appreciated
everything that He had done and all His hard work on earth
so He told Him He didn't have to go out on the road anymore.
He could stay in Heaven. So He did. And now He helps his Dad
out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are
important for God to take care of and which ones He can take
care of Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary,
only more important of course. You can pray anytime you want
and they are sure to hear you because they got it worked
out so one of them is on duty all of the time.
God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy,
it's God. Don't skip church on to do something you think
will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong.
And besides, the sun doesn't come out at the beach until
noon anyway.
will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere
with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's
around you when you're scared in the dark or when you can't
swim very good and you get thrown into real deep water by
big kids. But, you shouldn't just always think of what God
can do for you. I figure God put me here and He can take me
back anytime He pleases. And that's why I believe in God."
A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement
from an American Airlines pilot: "On our flight today, we
will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how
high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire State buildings
stacked one on top the other.
over the muzzle velocity of the standard military .45
pistol."
JT-8D-200 turbofan engines. While thrust to horsepower varies with
altitude, the total 40,000 pounds of thrust is
greater than the combined power of 10 D-9 diesel
locomotives."
more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall
buildings in a single bound, and as always, your Dallas
based crew stands for truth, justice, and the
AMERICAN way!"
A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in
court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked,
"Did anyone tell you what to say in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the boy.
"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?"
"My father, sir."
"And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly.
"He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up,
but if I stuck to the truth, everything would be all right."
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