When we respond rightly to trials, they actually have the capacity to increase our joy. Through them: God instructs us, we learn to depend on Him more, we experience a greater grace, we are being conformed to the image of Christ and we are learning the contrast with the glories to come.
Randy Smith

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Explosion

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#1 · September 24, 2003, 8:34 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

<><> Explosion <><>
 
A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the
mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few
survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the
investigator, "you were near the scene - what happened?" "Well, it's
like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him
take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up." "He was smoking in
the mixing room?" the investigator said in stunned horror, "How long
had he been with the company?" "About 20 years, sir" "20 years in
the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room,
I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done."
"It was, sir."

<><> Funny Signs <><> 
                                                    
In a department store:
  Bargain Basement Upstairs
 
In an office:
  Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please
  bring it back, or further steps will be taken?
 
In an office:
  After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand
  upside down on the draning board.
 
Outside a second-hand shop:
  We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.
  Why not bring your wife along, and get a wonderful bargain?
 
Spotted in a safari park:
  Elephants please stay in your car.
 
Seen during a conference:
  For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is
  a day care on the first floor.
 
On a repair shop door:
  We can repair anything.
  (Please knock hard on the door.  The bell doesn't work.)

 
<><> I'm So Broke Jokes <><> 
 
I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.
 
I'm so broke me and my girlfriend got married for the rice.
 
I'm so broke, if a trip around the world cost a nickel, I wouldn't have enough to leave the couch!
 
I'm so broke that I just went into McDonald's and put a small fry on layaway.
 
If pickles were 10 cents a truckload I couldn't buy a wart off a cucumber!
 
I'm so broke, just to rub two nickels together, I'd have to borrow one.
 
We were so broke, that at Christmas, all we could exchange was glances.
 
I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back.
 
I'm so broke, long distance companies don't even call me to switch!
 
If I stopped on a dime, I'd probably owe it to someone.
 
I ain't broke, but I'm severely bent.
 
Someone saw me kicking a can down the street, and when asked what I was doing I said, "Moving."
 
I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention!
 
A guy walked into our house, stepped on a cigarette and my Mom yelled, "Who turned off the heat?"
 
I'm so broke that when someone saw my Mom walking down the street with one shoe, they said, "Hey, you lost a shoe." She said, "No, I found one."
 
We're so broke that if someone rings our doorbell I have to yell, "Ding Dong!" out the window.
 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
Necessary Legal Information
 
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
 
 

 

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