First DayOf Kindergarten Monday

#1 · November 12, 2006, 12:32 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on November 12, 2006, 12:32 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"First DayOf Kindergarten"

The little boy came home from his very first day of kindergarten.

His mother was anxious to hear all about his big day at school, so she asked
him, "What did you learn today?"

The youngster rolled his eyes and replied, "Not enough. I have to go back again tomorrow."

"Dear Tide"

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people. Thanks John for sending us this.

"Fathers of 1900 Vs.Today"



In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.

Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage And that's just the
vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.

Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film
is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.

Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an
icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.

Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough
to teach them how to work the computer and set the DVR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.

Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's
time for school."

Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up,
it's time for hockey practice."

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the
supper table.

Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at
gymnastics, I'm at gym, Pizza in fridge."

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while
fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN
YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all
smiles.

Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted X-Box!"

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"First DayOf Kindergarten"

The little boy came home from his very first day of kindergarten.

His mother was anxious to hear all about his big day at school, so she asked
him, "What did you learn today?"

The youngster rolled his eyes and replied, "Not enough. I have to go back again tomorrow."

"Dear Tide"

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people. Thanks John for sending us this.

"Fathers of 1900 Vs.Today"

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.

Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage And that's just the
vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.

Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film
is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.

Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an
icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.

Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough
to teach them how to work the computer and set the DVR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.

Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's
time for school."

Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up,
it's time for hockey practice."

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the
supper table.

Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at
gymnastics, I'm at gym, Pizza in fridge."

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while
fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN
YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all
smiles.

Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted X-Box!"

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

Necessary Legal Information

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>