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Free Hymn Books Monday
#1 · April 10, 2005, 3:40 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Free Hymn Books"
A clergyman struggled along with a small congregation
in a poor neighborhood. A commercial firm offered to supply
free hymn books, provided they could insert a bit of discreet
advertising into the hymnals. The pastor was reluctant but
finally agreed.
When the hymnals arrived, he eagerly examined them and was
delighted to find no brash advertisements on or inside the
covers.
delighted to find no brash advertisements on or inside the
covers.
The next Sunday, his flock began to sing from the hymnals.
All went well until the third song, in which the congregation
lifted their voices in unison:
All went well until the third song, in which the congregation
lifted their voices in unison:
Hark the herald angels sing,
Hanson's pills are just the thing;
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
Two for man and one for child.
Hanson's pills are just the thing;
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
Two for man and one for child.
"Prayers Needed"
"Are there any prayer needs today?” I asked during a worship service. One person mentioned a neighbor who was sick. Another spoke of a couple with financial problems. A young man asked us to pray for the family of a friend’s grandmother who recently died. After hearing what seemed to be all the requests I said, “If there are no other needs then let us bow our heads and pray.”
Shortly after beginning the prayer, I felt something tugging on my pants leg and at the same time heard a loud whisper: “Preacher… Preacher… “I ‘needs’ something too!”
Still speaking, I slightly opened one eye and took a peek. A little boy was on his hands and knees below me, tugging on my pants leg as hard as he could and earnestly whispering: “Preacher, I ‘needs’ something too!”
The choir members behind were beginning to lose their composure and I could hear giggling in the background as the boy continued tugging on my pants and was by now speaking loudly: “Preacher, I ‘needs’ something!”
“Oh no!” I thought to myself. “In my arrogance and pride, had I ignored the needs of a small child? Maybe he knew of someone who was ill that we needed to include?” Feeling guilty and ashamed, I stopped the prayer and gently asked the young boy: “Yes son, what do you need?”
“Preacher, I ‘needs’ to go to the bathroom!”
Shortly after beginning the prayer, I felt something tugging on my pants leg and at the same time heard a loud whisper: “Preacher… Preacher… “I ‘needs’ something too!”
Still speaking, I slightly opened one eye and took a peek. A little boy was on his hands and knees below me, tugging on my pants leg as hard as he could and earnestly whispering: “Preacher, I ‘needs’ something too!”
The choir members behind were beginning to lose their composure and I could hear giggling in the background as the boy continued tugging on my pants and was by now speaking loudly: “Preacher, I ‘needs’ something!”
“Oh no!” I thought to myself. “In my arrogance and pride, had I ignored the needs of a small child? Maybe he knew of someone who was ill that we needed to include?” Feeling guilty and ashamed, I stopped the prayer and gently asked the young boy: “Yes son, what do you need?”
“Preacher, I ‘needs’ to go to the bathroom!”
"Warning Labels"
7 Up:
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.
Vicks Ny-Quil Gel Caps:
Use of this product in conjunction with alcohol or sedatives may cause drowsiness.
Use of this product in conjunction with alcohol or sedatives may cause drowsiness.
Jonsreds Chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Windex:
Do not spray in eyes.
Do not spray in eyes.
McDonald's Coffee:
Warning - Contents may be hot.
Warning - Contents may be hot.
Bayer Aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
Liquid Plummer:
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Miller Lite:
Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.
Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.
Komatsu Floodlight:
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.
Tonyang Lighting Screwdriver:
Use 3 pieces of batteries on 4.
Use 3 pieces of batteries on 4.
Moet White Star Champagne:
Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.
Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.
Energizer AAA 4 Pack:
If swallowed, promptly see doctor.
If swallowed, promptly see doctor.
Boot's Childrens Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or run machinery.
Do not drive a car or run machinery.
Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Mr. Bubbles:
Keep out of reach of children.
Keep out of reach of children.
Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
Product will be hot after heating.
Craftsman Push Mower
Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.
Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.
Sainsbury Peanuts (Read Comments)
Warning: This product contains nuts.
Warning: This product contains nuts.
"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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