From the Mouths of Babes

#1 · October 27, 2003, 7:47 am

Quote from Forum Archives on October 27, 2003, 7:47 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

<><> From The Mouths Of Babes <><>

Mrs. Freiburger sometimes takes her great-granddaughter Nicole, 5,
to the cemetery with her when she puts flowers on the graves.

One day as Nicole and Mrs. Freiburger were driving through the cemetery,
they passed a newly dug grave.

"Grandma, look! One got out!" Nicole exclaimed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night Dane, 5, told his mother Karen, "The sun went down 'cause God
thought it was a boring day. He turned off the lights so He could sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marilyn purchased cookies at the Tri Kappa Salad Bar. Her favorites are the
miniature pecan pie cookies. "They taste like you died and went to heaven,"
she told her children.

After sampling the cookies, Nicole, 5, asked her older brother Nathan,
"Have you been to heaven yet?"

<><> The Funeral <><>

A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home
visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans
for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was
wrong, and he revealed that the wife had asked him to sing her
husband's favorite song, "Jingle Bells," at the funeral. He was
troubled that it wasn't appropriate to the solemn occasion. He
struggled and prayed about it, and finally decided to honor the
grieving widow's wishes.

At the funeral, still sensitive about how some of the mourners might
react to hearing "Jingle Bells" at a funeral, he carefully introduced
the song with words about appreciating the sense of humor and
lightheartedness of the deceased. The widow had been very tearful
during the service. Hearing the introduction to her late husband's
"favorite song" she sat up and began to appear quite interested. As
the preacher began the song, the widow began to smile, and her tears
dried up. She was actually giggling as he concluded, and he felt
glad he'd decided to honor her request since it obviously had been so
comforting.

After the service she thanked the pastor for sharing his music
ministry, and with a big grin she added, "Actually, pastor, the
favorite song I requested was 'RING them Bells!'"

<><> On The Lighter Side <><>

An atheist was quite incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holidays for them to celebrate.

The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the downtrodden and assigned their sharpest attorney to the case.

The case was brought up before a learned judge who, after listening to the passionate presentation by the ACLU representative, promptly banged his gavel and said, "Case dismissed!"

The ACLU lawyer stood up and objected to the ruling and said,
"Your honor, how can you dismiss this case?
Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances.
And the Jews -- why, in addition to Passover, they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah ... and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned back in his chair and simply said,
"Obviously, your client is too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheist's holiday!"

The ACLU lawyer pompously said,
"We are aware of no such holiday for atheists
-- just when might that be?"

The judge said, "Well, it comes every year at the same time -- April 1st!"

Have A Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

<><> From The Mouths Of Babes <><>

Mrs. Freiburger sometimes takes her great-granddaughter Nicole, 5,
to the cemetery with her when she puts flowers on the graves.

One day as Nicole and Mrs. Freiburger were driving through the cemetery,
they passed a newly dug grave.

"Grandma, look! One got out!" Nicole exclaimed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night Dane, 5, told his mother Karen, "The sun went down 'cause God
thought it was a boring day. He turned off the lights so He could sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marilyn purchased cookies at the Tri Kappa Salad Bar. Her favorites are the
miniature pecan pie cookies. "They taste like you died and went to heaven,"
she told her children.

After sampling the cookies, Nicole, 5, asked her older brother Nathan,
"Have you been to heaven yet?"

<><> The Funeral <><>

A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home
visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans
for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was
wrong, and he revealed that the wife had asked him to sing her
husband's favorite song, "Jingle Bells," at the funeral. He was
troubled that it wasn't appropriate to the solemn occasion. He
struggled and prayed about it, and finally decided to honor the
grieving widow's wishes.

At the funeral, still sensitive about how some of the mourners might
react to hearing "Jingle Bells" at a funeral, he carefully introduced
the song with words about appreciating the sense of humor and
lightheartedness of the deceased. The widow had been very tearful
during the service. Hearing the introduction to her late husband's
"favorite song" she sat up and began to appear quite interested. As
the preacher began the song, the widow began to smile, and her tears
dried up. She was actually giggling as he concluded, and he felt
glad he'd decided to honor her request since it obviously had been so
comforting.

After the service she thanked the pastor for sharing his music
ministry, and with a big grin she added, "Actually, pastor, the
favorite song I requested was 'RING them Bells!'"

<><> On The Lighter Side <><>

An atheist was quite incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holidays for them to celebrate.

The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the downtrodden and assigned their sharpest attorney to the case.

The case was brought up before a learned judge who, after listening to the passionate presentation by the ACLU representative, promptly banged his gavel and said, "Case dismissed!"

The ACLU lawyer stood up and objected to the ruling and said,
"Your honor, how can you dismiss this case?
Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances.
And the Jews -- why, in addition to Passover, they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah ... and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned back in his chair and simply said,
"Obviously, your client is too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheist's holiday!"

The ACLU lawyer pompously said,
"We are aware of no such holiday for atheists
-- just when might that be?"

The judge said, "Well, it comes every year at the same time -- April 1st!"

Have A Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

Necessary Legal Information

I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org