Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.
Funny Stories Tuesday
#1 · January 17, 2005, 11:39 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"A Little Church Humor"
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly
usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please." She answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is
really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
________________________________
"Show and Tell"
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment.
Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the
class that represented their religion.
!
The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name
is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."
The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name
is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."
The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name
is Tommy. I am Methodist, and this is a casserole."
______________________________
"The Best Way To Pray"
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions
for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is
definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.
"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my
hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer
position is lying down on the floor." The repairman could contain
himself no longer.
"Hey, fe! llas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was
when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
____________________________
for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is
definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.
"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my
hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer
position is lying down on the floor." The repairman could contain
himself no longer.
"Hey, fe! llas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was
when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
____________________________
"Waking Up for Church"
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him
it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
I'll give you two good reasons." He said. "One, they don't like me,
and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD
go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"
____________________________
The Twenty and the One"
A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty
dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved
along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.
The twenty dollar bill rem! inisced about its travels all over the
country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.
"Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest
restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the
Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting
life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty," "where have you been throughout
your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist
Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church..."
The twenty dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
________________________________
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>