Getting Directions
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
A young preacher arrived in a small town to give a sermon. He needed to mail a letter, so when he saw Little Johnny he asked the young boy where the post office was.
When Johnny told him, the Preacher thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven."
"I don't think I'll be there," Little Johnny said. "You don't even know your way to the post office."
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The Pearly Gates
A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter, "that's certainly worth a point."
"One point? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"TWO POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"
"Come on in!"
**************
Wrong Department
An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the sky. One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him.
"Can't you do something?" she demanded angrily.
"I'm sorry ma'am," the Reverend said gently, "I'm in sales, not management."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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