Quote from Forum Archives on September 22, 2003, 3:55 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

<><> God Won't Ask <><>

 

God won't ask what kind of car you drove, but He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

 

God won't ask the square footage of your house, but He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

 

God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, but He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

 

God won't ask what your highest salary was, but He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

 

God won't ask what your job title was, but He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

 

God won't ask how many friends you had, but He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

 

God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, but He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

 

God won't ask about the color of your skin, but He'll ask about the content of your character.

 

God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation, but He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of

Hell.

 

God won't ask how many people you forwarded this to, but He'll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

 

 

<><> The Ten Commandments Of Love <><> 

 

I. I am thy Main Squeeze;
thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

 

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain,
nor badmouth me behind my back.

 

III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.

 

IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too weird.

 

V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily
and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.

 

VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou
even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee.

 

VII. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet
while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards,
nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.

 

VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

 

IX. Thou shalt not nag.

 

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze.

 

 

<><> Deathbed <><>

 

As he lay on his deathbed he spoke, "Sara, I want you
should know before I die that Ginsburg the tailor owes
me $200, and Morris the butcher owes me $50, and Klein
next door owes me $300."

His wife turned to the children and said, "What a
wonderful man your father is. Even when he's dying
he's got the brains to realize who owes him money."

The old man continued, "And Sara I want you to also
know that I owe the landlord a hundred dollars."

To which his wife cried, "Oh oh, now he's getting
delirious!"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

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