Brothers and sisters, the coming of Christ is near. The ultimate epiphany is just around the corner. If we think otherwise, we tragically impoverish our souls. Most Christians think little of Christ’s return, or if they do think about the day they will see Christ, they associate it with the day of their death. This is a proper hope, but death is not a pleasant thing, and thus the expectation of seeing Christ is mixed with a certain fear of the dark veil. But it is not so with His Second Coming. It is all joy! And that singular joy is meant to be a boon to our souls.
Kent Hughes

Groups

Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

Grandmother's Letter Monday

Avatar
Forum Archives
2,360 Posts
#1 · November 6, 2006, 7:47 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Grandmother's Letter"
 
            
 

Dear Grandson:
 
I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes  have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous  old gal.
 
I am seeing five gentlemen everyday.
 
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.
 
Then I go to see John.
 
Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.
 
When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day.
 
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
 
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with  Ben Gay.
 
What a life. Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.
 
Love, Grandma
 
P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said
at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlour, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, 'Now, what am I here after?'."
 
"Shopping at Krogers"
 
         
I was shopping at Kroger and noticed a little old lady following me around.
 
I stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at me.
 
She finally overtook me at the checkout, and she turned to me and said,
 
"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease;   it's just that you look so much like my late son."
 
I answered, "That's okay."
 
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
 
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, I called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
 
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at me   Pleased that I had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, I went to pay for my groceries.
 
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so much .. I only bought 5 items.."
 
The clerk replied,    "Yeah, but your Mother said  you'd be paying for her things too."
"My Favorite Things"
 
    
 
Maalox and nose drops
and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails
and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines
tied up in string,
These are a few of
my favorite things.
   
Cadillacs and cataracts
and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent
and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts,
and porches with swings,
These are a few of
my favorite things.
 
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember
my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
   
Hot tea and crumpets,
and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food
or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads
and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of
my favorite things.
 
Back pains, confused brains,
and no fear of sinnin,
Thin bones and fractures
and hair that is thinin,
And we won't mention our
short shrunken frames,
When we remember
our favorite things.
   
When the joints ache,
when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember
the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
Necessary Legal Information
 
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
 

 
 
 
 

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>

Click for thumbs down.0Click for thumbs up.0