Green Banana
Posted by: root <root@...>
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A cop walking his usual beat sees an old man pulling a box on a leash, down
a busy street. "Poor man," the cop thinks to himself. "I'd better go humor
him."
"That' a nice dog you got there," says the cop to the old man.
"It isn't a dog, it's a box," replies the old man.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the policeman, "I thought you were simple-minded."
The old man walks past the cop, then turns to his box, and says, "We sure
fooled him that time, didn't we, Rover?"
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Green Banana
===============
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell
for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The
driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed.
At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's
sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the
chair
and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes" answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana ?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the mans finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of
volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The
executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go ?" the man asks.
"I suppose so" says the executioner, "thats never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling
tickets.
Yet again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still
getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed.
The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The
executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to
the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the
chair.
"What is your final wish ?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned
man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.
The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the
smoke
clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner
can't
believe it and lets the man go.
The bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell
whilst
passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent
to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all the worlds
electricity to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits
down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner.
"Well" says the man, "can I have that green banana out of your packed
lunch."
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
included.
The executioner pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go
through the chair.
When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn
mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be
alive after all that?"
He stroked his chin. "Its something to do with that green banana isn't it?"
he asked.
"Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a bad conductor."