Ham And Eggs
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
have gone to war. And for all of those that will be going there soon.
May God watch over them, protect them and keep them safe. May God be
with the families and friends and comfort them. May God bless all of
you and keep you safe and well.
Ham and Eggs
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried. "Let's offer them ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
***************
Airline Humor
An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced:
"I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers
aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering
had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to
give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free
drinks for the length of the flight."
Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants
to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!"
***************
Help Wanted
A business is looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, work a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
Soon after a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The manager looked at the dog and was surprised, However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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