Happiest Man
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be
three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife
said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way because
tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us."
sister had an office adjacent to where security temporarily
holds suspects.
One day security officers were questioning a man when they
were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the
horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left
alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door
opened, and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage,
one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't
come out until you're told!"
The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the
security people returned, the woman reported what had
happened.
Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released
one very frightened telephone repairman.
Three men were floating on the ocean in a lifeboat after their boat
sank.
One said to the other, "Let's do something religious. Can you pray?"
"No, prayer was never my thing," he replied. "I never prayed in my
life."
Turning to the other, "There must be something we can do religiously.
Can
you sing a hymn?'
"No, but I learned 'When the Saints Go Marching In' in a bar in New
Orleans. That is the closest thing I know to a hymn" he answered.
"That just don't sound right. There must be something we can do
religiously. I know! Let's take up an offering."
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