Happy Birthday America 2003 Clean Hewmor
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
On July 4, 1776, we claimed our independence from England and Democracy was born. Every day thousands leave their homeland to come to the "land of the free and the home of the brave" so they can begin their American Dream.
The United States is truly a diverse nation made up of dynamic people. Each year on July 4, Americans celebrate that freedom and indepen-dence with barbecues, picnics, and family ga-therings. Through the Internet we are learning about and communicat-ing with people of different nations, with different languages and different races throughout the world. Bringing the world closer with understanding and knowledge can only benefit all nations.
We invite all nations to celebrate with Americans online this Fourth of July.
Happy Birthday, America
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Census
The doorbell rang and the little girl ran to open the door. In the doorway stood a man with a clipboard. He explained he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family.
Coming over, drying her hands on her apron, the mother said, "Let's see. There's me and my husband, and my children Claire, Jodie, Rachael, Steven, Ben--"
The census taker interrupted, saying, "I'm not interested in the names. The numbers will be enough."
The little girl pitched in. "We don't use numbers. We haven't run out of names yet!"
Hotel Room
Granny was visiting town for the first time. She checks in
at the hotel, and the bellboy takes her bags. She follows
the boy, and as the door closes, she looks around and shakes
her fist at him.
"Young man, I may be old, and straight from the hills, but
that don't mean I'm stupid! I paid good money, and this room
won't do at all! It's too small, and without proper
ventilation! Why there's not even a bed!"
The bellhop looks at her and says, "Ma'am, this isn't your
room, it's the elevator."
Skipping School
One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school
nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I
noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why
are you dressed like that?" I asked her.
"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did
anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He
was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the
day with him!"
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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