Have You Got The Time
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
*** Have You Got The Time ****** 
with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases
when Bill Gates walks up to him and asks:
"Have you got the time?"
Jake sighs, not recognizing Mr. Gates, puts
down the suitcases and glances at his wrist.
"It's a quarter to six", he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims
Mr. Gates.
Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad.
Check this out..." He shows him a time zone
display for every time zone in the world.
He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on
the watch a voice says "The time is eleven
till six" in a very West Texas accent. A
few more buttons and the same voice says
something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've
put in regional accents for each city.
The display is unbelievably high quality
and the voice is simply astounding."
Bill Gates is dumb struck with admiration.
"That's not all...", says Jake. He pushes
a few more buttons and a tiny but very
hi-resolution map of New York City appears
on the display. "The flashing dot shows
our location by satellite positioning,"
explains Jake. "View recede ten", Jake
says, and the display changes to show
eastern New York state.
"I want to buy this watch!" says Bill
Gates, thinking of the potential profits
after his engineers tear it apart and
then market it throughout the world.
"Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm
still working out the bugs", says the
inventor. "But look at this", and he
proceeds to demonstrate that "the watch
is also a very creditable little FM radio
receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar
device that can measure distances up to
125 meters, a pager with thermal paper
printout and, most impressive of all,
the capacity for voice recordings of
up to 300 standard-size books, though I
only have 32 of my favorites in there
so far" says Jake.
"I've got to have this watch!" says Bill
Gates, becoming insane with desire.
"No, you don't understand; it's not ready."
"I'll give you $1,000 for it!"
"Oh, no, I've already spent more than..."
"I'll give you $5,000 for it!"
"But it's just not..."
And Bill Gates pulls out his bulging wallet.
Jake stops to think. He's only put about
$8,500 into materials and development,
and with $15,000 he can make another one
and have it ready for merchandising in
maybe a year or so...
Bill Gates frantically waves the cash in
front of Jake: "Here it is, right here and
now, $15,000! Take it or leave it!"
Jake abruptly makes his decision: "Okay,"
he agrees as he peels off the watch and
hands it to the stranger.
They make the exchange and Bill Gates
prances happily away.
"Hey, wait a minute", calls Jake after the
stranger.
Bill Gates turns around warily and says:
"What?"
Jake points to the two heavy suitcases he
had been trying to wrestle through the
terminal.
"Don't forget your batteries."
white dishtowel, my granddaughter observed,
"Maybe he thinks you're surrendering."
"Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old 
granddaughter, sitting in a pool of bright light.
"The sun's looking at me too hard."
granddad about Adam and Eve. He asked,
"Is this where God took out the man's brain
and made a woman?"
a book of poetry he had written about me.
Part of it was an acrostic of my name, Victoria, with an adjective
describing me next to each letter.
Beside "I" he had written "Intelligent,"
next to the "C," "Caring," and for the "O," "Outstanding."
I was swelling with pride until I came to the final "A."
Next to it my son had written "Able to scream."
them to send over a safecracker to open his jammed safe.
Soon a convict showed up, spun the dials, listened intently,
and calmly opened the safe door.
"Well," said the mine operator, "what do you think I owe you?"
The prisoner said, "Uh, the last time I opened a safe, I
got $25,000."
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