Quote from Forum Archives on April 17, 2006, 4:13 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Hello,  I'm a Senior Citizen "

 

                  

 

(which means I'm well passed 50 - meaning ...... I 'Passed' 50 at about 95 mph)
There's some things you need to know.
Soon as I remember I'll tell you what they are.

 

I'm the Life of the Party .......

even when it lasts
'till 7pm.

However, I'm Usually interested in goin' home
long before I get to where I'm goin'.

I'm Smilin' all the time,
cause I can't hear a word you're sayin'.
I'm also good at tellin' Stories......
over and over and over again!

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour,
without my BenGay, Aspirin, Antacid......
I'm even good at opening Childproof caps......

With a Hammer!

I'm for Sure aware that other people's
Grandchildren aren't as bright as mine.
Ever noticed that they're
making Adults much Younger these days?

I'm walking more .....
(to the bathroom)
and enjoying it less.
I'm the first one to find that bathroom

wherever I go.

I'm Positive I did housework correctly
before the Internet.
And, I'm sure everything I can't find,
is in a secure place.
I'm a walking storeroom of facts .....
I've just misplaced the storeroom.

 

I'm now spending more time with my pillows
than with my spouse.
I'm awake Many Hours

 

before my body allows me to get up.

 

I'm in the *Initial* state of my Golden Years:
SS, Cd's, IRA's, AARP
I've been wondering,
If you're only as old as you feel,
how could I still be alive since I 'passed' 50?

 

I'm supporting all movements now....
by eating bran, prunes, raisins & chuggin' Geritol.

 

I'm so cared for: long-term care,
eye care, private care, dental care, and
Medicare!

 

I'm having trouble remembering
simple words like.....duh....

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy,
and that's just my right leg.

 

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

 

I'm not Grouchy,
I just don't like traffic,
waiting, enemas, politicians.....

 

I'm anti-everything now:

 

anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise,
anti-inflammatory, and just generally
antipodal.

 

I'm a Senior Citizen
and I'm told
I'm having the
time of my Life!

 

 

"The 'ART' of  FALLING  APART"

 

            

 

There's quite an art to falling apart ....
as these years go by.
And life Doesn't begin at 40  ....
That's a Big Fat Lie!

My hair's gettin'  thinner ....
my Body is Not.
The few Teeth I have ....
are beginning to Rot!

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub ....
Not Chanel #5.
My new Pacemaker's all ....
that keepin' me alive!

When asked of my past ....
Every Detail I'll know.
But what was I doin' ....
just 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the Idea ....
what More can I say?
I'm off to read the Obits ....
like I do every Day.

If my name is not there ....
I'll once again Start -
Perfecting the Art ....
Of Falling Apart!

But til' That Last Curtain ....
Decides to Fall,
I'm gonna'  have ....
Myself a Ball!

 

 

"Growing Old!"   -   "Who Me?"

 

 

Time changes things, or so I'm Told,
I've Noticed it More since Growing Old.
I don't See as well,  I really have to Strain,
I walk with a Limp, And even need a Cane.

 

People don't Speak very loud any more,
And I never seem to Hear that Knock at the door.
I Battle the Bulge from day to day,
And worry about What those Scales will Say.

 

Sometimes I Try to Get in the Mood,
Use more Willpower and Eat Less Food.
But as I Sit in my Chair and Exercise,
I Count all these blessings in disguise.

 

No need to Fret, Heaven Forbid,
I'll never look the same as I did as a Kid.
I've got lots of Wrinkles and even a Double Chin,
But I feel Pretty Fine for the Shape that I'm in.

 

I Think as I look,
in that Mirror on the Wall,
Time has Changed Things,
But, I'm Having a Ball!

Author Unknown

 

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

    

 

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