Quote from Forum Archives on September 22, 2006, 12:03 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Help Wanted"

 

A Help Wanted sign said: "Must be a good typist and be good with a computer. Successful applicant must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

 

A short time later, a lovely golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, whined and pawed the air.

 

The receptionist called the office manager. He was surprised, to say the least, to see a canine applicant. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager expectantly.

 

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you must be able to type."

 

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to quickly type a perfect business letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair.

 

The manager was stunned, but told the dog, "That was fantastic, but I'm sorry. The sign clearly says that whoever I hire has to be good with a computer."

 

The dog jumped down again, went to the computer and proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs, produced a sample spreadsheet and database, then presented them to the manager.

 

The manager was dumbfounded!

 

He said to the dog, "Hey, I realize that you are a very intelligent applicant and have fantastic talent, but you're a dog. No way could I hire you."

 

The dog jumped down and went to the sign in the window and pointed his paw at the words, "Equal Opportunity Employer."

 

The exasperated manager said, "Yes, I know what the sign says, but the sign also says you have to be bilingual."

 

The dog looked him straight in the eye and said, "Meow."

 

"This Explains It All"

 

 

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day
by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

 

The dog said: "That's a long time t o be barking. How about
only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

 

So God agreed.

 

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you
a twenty-year life span."

 

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog
did?"

 

And God agreed.

 

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have
calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give
you a life span of sixty years."

 

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to
live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

 

And God agreed again.

 

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play,
marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

 

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me
my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

 

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

 

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and
enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support
our family. For the next t en years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

 

Life has now been explained to you

 

"SINGLE BLACK FEMALE"

 

 

SBF Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love: long walks in the woods, hunting, camping, riding in your pickup truck, fishing trips, cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-2121 and ask for Daisy.

 

(The phone number was the Humane Society and Daisy was an eight week old black Labrador Retriever.)

 

Look at the world around you, and you'll see God's creativity;
Look at the dinner table, and you'll see God's providence;
Look at the mirror, and you'll see God's sense of humor.

 

Have a Blessed Weekend

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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