High B.P.
Posted by: <@...>
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy
complexion, the patient replied, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from
my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood
pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
----
BONUS JOKE
Please Help!
A wild-eyed man dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand
inside his coat entered the psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed,
"Doctor, I need your help right away."
"I can see that," retorted the doctor. "Lie down on that couch and tell
me your problem."
"I don't have any problem," the man snapped. "In fact, as Emperor of
France I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power -
everything! But I'm afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble."
"I see," said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. "And
what seems to be her main problem?"
"For some strange reason," answered the unhappy man, "she thinks she's
Mrs. Schwartz."
----
BONUS BONUS JOKE
An Unwanted Kiss
An honest seven-year-old told her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her
after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him."