Holmes and Watson

#1 · January 3, 2000, 1:58 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on January 3, 2000, 1:58 pm
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they
lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and
nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you
see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I
observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, deduce that the time is
approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all
powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect
that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some knothead
has stolen our tent."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"De" Way To Be

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed and dry cleaners depressed?

Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted!

Bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers
will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors
will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company
will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be
devoted.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talk too
much. Recently, he proudly told his wife he'd heard that men use 2200 words a
day, while women use 4400.

The wife pondered that a moment, then concluded, "That's because women have to
repeat everything they say to their husbands."

He looked up and asked, "Come again?"

Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they
lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and
nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you
see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I
observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, deduce that the time is
approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all
powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect
that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some knothead
has stolen our tent."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"De" Way To Be

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed and dry cleaners depressed?

Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted!

Bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers
will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors
will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company
will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be
devoted.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talk too
much. Recently, he proudly told his wife he'd heard that men use 2200 words a
day, while women use 4400.

The wife pondered that a moment, then concluded, "That's because women have to
repeat everything they say to their husbands."

He looked up and asked, "Come again?"