Quote from Forum Archives on January 2, 2007, 5:12 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Housework"

 

 

Dirt:
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens
provide a helpful filter against harmful
and aging rays from the sun. Call it an
SPF factor of 5 and leave in alone.
    
Cobwebs:
Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades
reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby
creating a romantic atomosphere. If your
husband points out that the light fixtures
need dusting, simply look confused and
exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
 
Pet Hair:
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed
up against the doorways by claiming you
are collecting it there to use for
stuffing handsewn play animals
for underprivileged children.
    
Guests:
If unexpected company is coming, pile
everything unsightly into one room and
close the door. As you show your guests
through your tidy home, rattle the door
know vigorously, fake a growl, and say,
"I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy
hates to be disturbed and the shots are
SO expensive."
        
Dusting:
If dusting is REALLY out of control,
simply place a showy urn on the coffee
table and insist that "This is where
Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
      
Painting:
Don't bother re-painting. Simply scribble
lightly over a diry wall with an assortment
of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears
as you say, "Junior did this the week before
that unspeakable accident...I haven't had the
heart to clean it..."
        
General Cleaning:
Mix one-quart cup pine-scented household
cleaner with four cup sof water in a spray
bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened
rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an
exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch,
and sigh: "I clean and I clean and I still
don't get anywhere..."

 

 

"Washing Clothes Recipe"

 

 

Never thought of a "washer" in this light before...   what a blessing!

 

Washing Clothes Recipe'  -- imagine having a recipe for this ! ! !

 

Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe:

 

This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - with spelling errors and all.

 

WASHING CLOTHES:

 

Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.

 

Sort things, make 3 piles
1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.

 

To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.

 

Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch.

 

Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.

 

Hang old rags on fence.

 

Spread tea towels on grass.

 

Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water. Turn tubs upside down.

 

Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.
      
Paste this over your washer and dryer. Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer, and give thanks. First thing each morning you should run and hug your washer and dryer, also your toilet---those two-holers used to get mighty cold!

 

For you non-southerners -wrench means rinse.

 

AND WE THOUGHT WE HAVE IT ROUGH

 

 

"In Charge"

 

 

One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting. Krystal asked, " Daddy, you're the boss of the house, right?"

 

Her father proudly replied, "Yes, I am the boss of the house."

 

But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added "Cause Mommy put you in charge, huh Daddy?"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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