Humor For July 4th.
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
To all our fellow Americans!
I hope you enjoy the day with family and friends and remember what a great country you have!
We will be back Tuesday have a great weekend.
Dave and Barbara
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!
What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
"I gotta get a softer saddle!"
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!
What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?
A Hessian procession!
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!
What's red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?
A revolutionary warthog!
What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
What's red, white, black and blue?
Uncle Sam falling down the steps!
Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!
What was General Washington's favourite tree?
The infantry!
Which colonists told the most jokes?
Punsylvanians!
What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
Mt. Vermin!
What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
Revo-lotion!
The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .
"I'm not free. I'm four."
Pledge Of Allegiance By Red Skelton
|
I |
me, an individual, a committee of one. |
|
Pledge |
dedicate all of my worldly goods to live without self-pity. |
|
Allegiance |
my love and my devotion. |
|
To the Flag |
our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom. Wherever she waves, there is respect, because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody’s job. |
|
Of The United |
that means we have all come together. |
|
States of America, |
Individual communities that have united into 50 great states. Fifty individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose, all divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that’s love for a country. |
|
And to the Republic |
a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people and it’s from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people. |
|
For which it stands, |
meaning, so blessed by God. |
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Indivisible, |
incapable of being divided. |
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With liberty |
which is freedom and the right of power to live one’s own life without threats or fear of some sort of retaliation. |
|
And justice |
the principle of quality of dealing fairly with others. |
|
For all. |
which meant it’s as much your country as it is mine |
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