Hymns for the over 50 crowd
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
1. Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
2. It Is Well with My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
3. Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
4. Just a Slower Walk with Thee
5. Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
6. Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up
7. Give Me the Old Timers' Religion
8. Blessed Insurance
9. Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah, I've Forgotten Where I Parked
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
*=* Does It Ever Rain Out Here*=*
A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"
A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does."
"When?" asked the visitor.
"Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for
40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, "we got about half an inch that
time."
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
*=* Smoke Alarm *=*
JT's wife arranged for the local homeschool group to
tour the fire station. At one point in the tour, the
firefighter who was serving as the guide, held up a
smoke alarm and asked the kids, "What does it mean
when this makes noise?"
Almost immediately, one of the kids piped up, Mommy's
making dinner?"
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
*=* Shaved *=*
Setting: A small rural community, so small, in fact, the
only church in town is a small Baptist church whose pastor
must also double up as the local barber to make ends meet.
There happened to be a man in this small community who had
invested wisely and was enjoying his newfound comfort.
This man got out of bed one day to go through his daily
routine. He looked into the mirror as he was about
to shave and decided, "I make enough money now, I don't
have to shave myself. I'll go down to the barber and let
him shave me from now on." So he did.
He walked into the barber shop and found the preacher/barber
was out calling on the shut-ins. His wife, Grace, said "I
usually do the shaves anyway ... sit down and I'll shave you."
So he did. She shaved him and he asked, "How much do I owe
you?" "$25," Grace replied. The man thought that was
somewhat expensive and that he may have to get a shave every
other day. Nonetheless, he paid Grace and went on his way.
The next day, he woke up and found his face to be just as
smooth as the day before. No need for a shave today, he
thought, well, it was a $25 shave.
The next day he awoke to find his face as smooth as a baby's
bottom. Wow! he thought. That's amazing, as he normally
would need to shave daily to keep his clean-shaven business
look.
Day 3, he woke up and his face was still as smooth as the
minute after Grace had finished. Now, somewhat perplexed,
the man went down to the barber shop to ask some questions.
This particular day the pastor was in and the man asked him
why his face was as smooth as it was the first day it was
shaven.
The kind old pastor gently retorted, "Friend, you were
shaved by Grace ... and once shaved, always shaved."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org