Quote from Forum Archives on August 13, 2006, 5:37 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"I know I'm Getting Older Because"

 

       

              

...Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
...I feel like the morning after, and I haven't been anywhere.
...My little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
...My children are beginning to look middle-aged.
...My mind makes contracts my body can't keep.
...I look forward to a dull evening.
...My knees buckle and my belt won't.
...My back goes out more than I do.
...I sink my teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
And the worst?
...I finally know all the answers, but nobody asks me the questions!

 

"Golf Tidbits"

 

 

 

In primitive society, when native tribes
beat the ground with clubs and yelled,
it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized
society, it is called golf.

 

The man who takes up golf to get his
mind off his work soon takes up work
to get his mind off golf.

 

Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now
it has millions of poor players!

 

Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

 

The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard,
straight and not too often.

 

There are three ways to improve your golf
game: take lessons, practice constantly --
or start cheating.

 

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy
because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.

 

Golf is a game in which the slowest people
in the world are those in front of you, and the
fastest are those behind.

 

Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with
disappointments.

 

There's no game like golf: you go out with
three friends, play eighteen holes, and
return with three enemies.

 

Golf got its name because all of the other
four letter words were taken.

 

 

"In Every Blade of Grass"

 

 

"Nature is a gift from God and every blade of grass
is a sermon," a preacher told his summertime
congregation.
The next day, the minister was mowing his lawn when
a member of the church came along.
The parishioner stood and watched his pastor mow for
a while. Then, nodding his head in approval, he
said, "Way to go, Pastor, cut 'em short."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

   

 

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