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IF THERE WERE COMPUTERS IN 1776

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"IF THERE WERE COMPUTERS IN 1776"
 
 
        Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it
is essential that we complete this declaration of independence.
        Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot
here.
        Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on
without you. Has everyone had a chance to look at the draft
I posted yesterday?
        Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes
replication problems.
        Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy.
        Mr. Sherman: Thanks. Saaaaay, nice font.
        Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies
Online just last week.
        Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done.
I fear our document will soon leak out.
        Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There's already a
bootleg circulating. I saw it posted on alt.georgeIII.stinks
last night.
        Mr. Franklin: @#$$%^$# General Protection Fault!
        Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows
75. It solved that problem for me.
        Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of
Pretended Legislation; have you considered using bullets to
air out the text?
        Mr. Jefferson: I can fix that easily enough. Drat! I've
spilled candle wax on my keyboard again.
        Mr. Adams: You know, Thomas, that wouldn't happen if
you'd buy an active-matrix screen.
        Mr. Franklin: Hard-disk failure?!? Aw, criminy!
        Mr. Livingston: Are you sure it's "unalienable rights"?
My spell checker recommends "unassailable".
        Mr. Jefferson: Can we stick to the substance of the
document, please? Shoot. Low battery. Anyone got a spare
power cable?
        Mr. Sherman: What have you got, a Toshiba? No, mine
isn't compatible.
        Mr. Franklin: Hello, PCs Philadelphia? What does it mean
when the floppy drive buzzes? OK, I'll hold.....
        Mr. Livingston: The "In Congress" part here at the top;
have you thought about blowing that up really big and maybe
centering it in 72 point Helvetica?
        Mr. Jefferson: Not a bad idea. Aw, nuts! Word macro
virus! I can't save the file.
        Mr. Franklin: That's all right, Thomas. We can manage.
Here, borrow my quill pen....
Author Unknown
 
 
"Murphy's Laws for Parents"
 
 
1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
 
2. Leakproof thermoses -- will.
 
3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
 
4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.
 
5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.
 
6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.
 
7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.
 
8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.
 
9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.
 
10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.
 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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