I'm Stupid
Posted by: root <root@...>
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house and he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,
then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could
have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. I did misjudge the
height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter
how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to
take the report. He went through his basic questioning... ok... no problem.
I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he asked, "So... is
your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at
the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's
your sign."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said,
"Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on
me. Here's your sign."
____________________________________________________
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
===============================
A blonde named Barbara is appearing on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline
left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever
Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will
drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is
it........
A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush.
"Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.
Barbara: " I think I know who it........ but I'm not 100%....No, I haven't
got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis just to be sure."
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Carol back home in Brooklyn." (ringing)
Carol (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Carol, its Regis Philbin here from Who Wants to be a
Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000,
but needs your help to a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara's
and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct
answer and you have 30 seconds to answer - fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it:
A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush
Carol: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....Its a Cuckoo.
Barbara: "You think?"
Carol: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Carol." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million,
Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Carol's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo... you're
right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have
been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands
together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Carol and takes her out to celebrate and,
as they are chatting, Barbara turns to Carol and asks "Tell me Carol, How did
you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Carol: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."