INTO LABOR
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
~~Into Labor~~
When a man's wife went into labor, he immediately dialed 911 in a
panic.
As soon as the dispatcher answered, he cried, "Help! My wife is
having a baby. Her contractions are only two minutes apart. What
do I do?"
"Calm down," the dispatcher said. "Is this her first child?"
"NO!" the frantic man exclaimed. "This is her husband!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Hobby~~
The doctor finished his examination and told the patient
to get dressed and to come into his office.
"Sit down, Mrs. Kaysen. After looking at these test
results, I recommend that you have an operation
immediately."
The woman thought for a moment, "How will this affect
my hobby, Doctor?"
"What's your hobby?"
"Saving money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Drink~~
I've always ordered beverages one simple way:
"A Coke, please."
Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses
now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke.
We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."
Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I
thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked
the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark,
carbonated beverage."
The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked,
"Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device
with that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Listen~~
My husband and I were having a pleasant conversation with our 4-year-old
grandson when his parents walked into the room.
When they asked what he was doing, he said, "I'm talking to my grandparents.
Listen you might learn something."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Seasons~~
I overheard our 7-year-old grandson, Adam, quizzing his 3-year-old sister,
Sarah, about the 4 seasons.
"Three of the seasons are Spring, Summer and Fall. What's the other one?"
She promptly replied, "Flu season."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Raffle~~
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids
together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most
obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything
she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, dad, you get the toy."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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