Quote from Forum Archives on October 1, 2003, 8:40 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

  

 *** It Happened This Way ***
 
 "The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intention."
" I thought my window was down, but found it was up
when I put my hand through it."

 

  "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

 

"The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." 
 

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
and headed over the embankment."

 

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid
by steering it into the other vehicle."

 

"I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."

 

"I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

 "As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident." 

 

"The telephone pole was approaching fast.  I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."

 

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

 

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."

 

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision,
I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car." 
 

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, as I ran over him."

 

"I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

 

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

 

"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

 

 

 

*** A 100 Year Old Man *** 

 

A 100 year old man was having a big birthday party at his nursing home. A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day. "Please tell our audience how you managed to live so long," asked the reporter.

"Well, I don't ever drink and I've never smoked," replied the old
geezer."And, I make it a point to stay away from wild women."

Just then, there was a loud shriek in the hall. The crew turned to see a nurse run by, followed by an agile looking, older man. The older man carried a foul smelling cigar in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.

As he ran by, he paused for a moment, looked at the crowd and let out a hardy, "He, he, he!" and then continued his pursuit.

"What was that all about?" asked the astonished reporter.

Replied the old geezer, "Please excuse my father  he gets carried away sometimes!"

 

 

 

*** Fool ***

 

A Preacher was standing at the Pulpit giving his Sunday sermon,when a note was passed to him.The only word written on the sheet was "FOOL".

 

Looking up at the Congregation,the preacher smiled and said "I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names,but this is the first time I have seen a man sign his name and forget to write the letter"

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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