Quote from Forum Archives on January 9, 2004, 11:13 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

                                        

                

 

Kids' Letters To the Pastor   Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson. Age 11, Miami   Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9, Tacoma   Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen. Age 9, Athens   Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph. Age 11, Akron Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewist Medicine  A man pleaded with the psychiatrist, "You've got to help me. It's my son."   What's the matter?"   " He's always eating mud pies. I get up in the morning and there he is in the backyard eating mud pies.   I come home at lunch and he is eating mud pies.   I come home at dinner and there he is in ghe backyard eating mud pies."   The psychiatrist reassured him, " Give the kid a chance.   It's all part of growing up. It'll pass.   "Well, I don't like it---and neither does his wife."   Doctor:  I see you're coughing better this morning.   Patient:  Why not?  I've been practicing all night!   Dentist:  What kind of filling would you like in your tooth?   Boy:  Chocolate!   Two psychiatrists met on the street.  One smiled brightly and said, Good morning!"   The other walked on and muttered to himself, " I wonder what he meant by that!"   Doctor:  I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?   Patient:  Give me the bad news first.   Doctor:  We amputated the wrong leg   Patient:  What is the good news?   Doctor:  Your other leg won't need to be amputated after all.     The Old One      Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea. So the two women sipped their tea happily while having lunch and chit-chatted. Afterwards, when her friend had left, Little Johnny's mother talked to him. "Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" his mother asked. "Ma, I couldn't find it, so I used the fly swatter." replied Johnny. His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added, "Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!"     Have a Blessed Day Dave and Barbara   Necessary Legal Information I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.   Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org   Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org   Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org