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Kids present from Dad

Posted by: root <root@...>

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I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out
to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were
given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save
them for later, so I placed them in an airsickness courtesy bag.

After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached
me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?"
I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."

Engineering Dictionary
- ----------------------
What the Engineer says (What it really means)

A number of different approaches are being tried.
(We are still grasping at straws.)

We're working on a fresh approach to the problem.
(We just hired three kids fresh out of college.)

Close project coordination.
(We know who to blame.)

Major technological break through.
(It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.)

Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.
(We are so far behind schedule the customer is
happy to get it delivered.)

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
(The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)

Test results were extremely gratifying.
(We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.)

The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
(The only person who understood the thing quit.)

It is in process.
(It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation
is about hopeless.)

We'll look into it.
(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)

Please read and initial.
(Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.)

Give us the benefit of your thoughts.
(We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it
doesn't interfere with what we've already done.)

Give us your interpretation.
(I can't wait to hear this!)

See me, or Let's Discuss.
(Come into my office, I'm lonely.)

All new!
(Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.)

Rugged
(Too heavy to lift!)

Lightweight
(Lighter than rugged.)

Years of development
(One finally worked.)

Energy saving
(Achieved when the power switch is off.)

Low maintenance
(Impossible to fix if broken.)
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