"Kissing at the Airport" Friday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
It was the middle of the holiday travel season. The
trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go
back. The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky
red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying
elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.
Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and
being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly
good mood.
Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason,
had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he
saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very
cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder
parts and green paint on some of the flatter and
"pointier" parts, that could be taken for mistletoe
only in a very Picasso sort of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere
else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if I
were not married, I would not want to kiss you under
such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
(pause)
"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is
the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."
"That's not why it's there."
(pause)
"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"
"It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Little White Truck"
Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4
other stops before arriving at the Dallas-Forth Worth
Airport. At the first stop, a little white truck
drove up to the plane and my wife watched it pull up
to the wing. She asked, "What's that truck doing?"
I explained that some airlines don't completely fuel
up a plane for various reasons & we were taking on
more fuel. This process was repeated at the next
three stops, and my wife watched the plane being
fueled each time.
At the last stop, I said, "Ya know, in spite of all
these delays, we're making pretty good time."
My wife pointed out the window and said, "I don't
know. That lil' white truck is keeping up with us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Christmas Shopping"
A couple went Christmas shopping at the mall. They
decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours
later.
The husband was at their appointed meeting place at
the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife.
After waiting for half an hour, he started looking
for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she
usually frequented.
Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he
approached a beautiful blonde on a mall bench. He
smiled at her and said, "Please, talk to me! Quick!"
She said, "Why?"
"Because I've been looking for my wife all over this
mall and I can't find her," the man replied.
"How will talking to me help you find your wife? I
have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less
where she is."
"I didn't think you did. However, every time I start
talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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