Quote from Forum Archives on April 28, 2006, 3:59 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Knitting"

 

 

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

 

"NO!" the woman yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

 

"Scavenger Hunt"

 

 

A woman answered her front door and saw
a little boy holding a list. "Lady," he explained,
"I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need
three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone
and a piece of used carbon paper to earn
a dollar."

 

"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you
on such a challenging scavenger hunt?"

 

"My babysitter's boyfriend."

 

 

"Anonymous Sages"

 

 
 1) God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
 
 2) Dear God, I have a problem ~ it's me.
 
 3) Growing old is inevitable; growing UP is optional.
 
 4) There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
 
 5) Silence is often misinterpreted, but never  misquoted.
 
 6) Do the math ~ count your blessings.
 
 7) Faith is the ability to not panic.
 
8) Laugh every day; it's like inner jogging.
 
 9) If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
 
 10) For a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.
 
 11) Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
 
12) The most important things in your home are the people.
 
 13) When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
 
 14) A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
 
 15) He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
 
 16) We do not remember days, but moments.
 
 17) Life is moving fast ~ enjoy your precious  moments.
 
 18) It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and  again. Just be
 sure to flush when you are done.
 
19)  Living your life successfully requires courage.  Learn from the
turtle; it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
 
20) Life is uncertain; eat dessert first.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

         

 

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