Late
Quote from Forum Archives on February 25, 2004, 8:51 amPosted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
LateUncle Jim was late for work when the red lights flashed
behind him. Knowing he was caught, he pulled over and
waited with license and registration in hand.As the trooper wrote out the ticket, he asked Jim where
he was headed."I'm late for an important 7:30 meeting," Jim answered.
The officer checked his watch. "If you hurry, you can
still make it."
Mikes Girlfriend
After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new
telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked.
"He's in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time
a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to
tell my wife for the past half-hour."One Father To Another"Things sure were a lot different
when we were boys. My son has a color TV, a computer, a VCR,
a stereo, a radio, and a telephone in his room. When I want
to punish him, I have to send him to my room!"CookiesAn elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs.He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven?
Was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shakingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Keep away from those," she said, "they're for the funeral."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Uncle Jim was late for work when the red lights flashed
behind him. Knowing he was caught, he pulled over and
waited with license and registration in hand.
As the trooper wrote out the ticket, he asked Jim where
he was headed.
"I'm late for an important 7:30 meeting," Jim answered.
The officer checked his watch. "If you hurry, you can
still make it."
After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new
telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked.
"He's in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time
a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to
tell my wife for the past half-hour."
when we were boys. My son has a color TV, a computer, a VCR,
a stereo, a radio, and a telephone in his room. When I want
to punish him, I have to send him to my room!"
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven?
Was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shakingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Keep away from those," she said, "they're for the funeral."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
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