Lawyer Hunting
Posted by: <@...>
While hunting has become a popular sport in many ountries, laws have to
be developed to both keep the populations in balance as well as to
allow for a fair fight. New Rules and Regulations also have to be
legislated whenever new species become the object of the hunt. With
this is mind comes new regulations.
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWYERS
US Government Department of Fish and "wildlife" Sec. 1200
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of
currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free stuff"
for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law
libraries, health spas, bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to
hunt, "entrap", or possess it.
9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection
for rabies, and vermin.
10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, accident
victim, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 1
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 4
4. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 BOUNTY
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
6. Honest Attorney On the Endangered Species List (Illegal to hunt)
7. Cut-throat 2
8. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
9. Judge's Pet 2