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Leaving Wednesday
#1 · October 13, 2004, 12:40 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Leaving"
Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and planned move to Arizona...
After the service a very distraught Mrs. Williams came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bill, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!"
The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said, "Now, now, Liz, don't carry on so... The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me."
"Yeah", she cried, "That's what Paster Mike said when he left!"
"Redneck Computer Lingo"
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires
and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with
barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in
order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife
and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon
seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a
trip.
and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with
barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in
order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife
and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon
seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a
trip.
"Late"
Marvin found the following ransom note slipped under his front door.
"Bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of your country club tomorrow at
10:00am if you ever want to see your wife alive again."
But it was well after 1:00pm by the time he arrived at the
designated meeting spot.
designated meeting spot.
A masked man stepped out from behind a bush and demanded,
"You're three hours late. What took you so long?"
"You're three hours late. What took you so long?"
"Give me a break!" said Marvin, pointing to his scorecard.
"I'm a 27 handicap."
"I'm a 27 handicap."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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