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Let's Face It

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

***Let's Face It.***

English is an odd language.
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger,
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted,
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out,
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all).

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

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***What is a Hug?***

A hug is a great way to give someone a smile!
Hugs also help to brighten up our day!

According to Mr. Webster, a "Hug" can be defined as:

1.a. To clasp the arms around and hold close, esp. in affection;
embrace closely.

1b. To grasp and squeeze tightly with the arms, as a bear does.
(A Bear Hug?)

2. To keep close to: The road hugs the river.

3. To cling firmly to; cherish: He hugged his miseries like a
sulky child.

Some of the Best things about Hugs are:

1. Brings a smile to everyone involved!

2. Can be given to anyone and shared by everyone!

3. No Calories. (Yes! Something this good is actually good for you,
too)

4. Best of all ... when you give someone a hug, you
automatically get one in return!!!

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Thanks For This One Helen:
~~~~~~~~~~

***I'm Dead? ***

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awakened
from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand, and she responds,

"Don't touch me".

"Why not," he asks.

She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here
in bed together, and talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead! What in the world makes you think
you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and
nothing hurts

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

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