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Letter From CampFriday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

Letter From Camp
Dear Mom and Dad, 

We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid. Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away.

Luckily, none of us drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the Search and Rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. 

Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us. 

Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Webb wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Webb isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. 

He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken.

I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don't worry about anything. We are fine. 

Love,
Your son 

P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?

Computer Viruses

 

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system
works fine, but complains loudly about
foreign software.

COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its
presence known but doesn't do
anything. Secretly you wish it would.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files
disappear, only to reappear
mysteriously a year later;in another
directory.

O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know its
guilty of trashing your system, but
you just can't prove it.

BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent,
but it's been around to long to much
of a threat.

STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files
reported as the same size.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This virus
doesn't horse around, warns you of i
mpending attack.
Once if by LAN, twice if by C.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never
identifies itself as a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic
micro-organism".

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every
component in your system, just before
the whole thing quits.

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your
monochrome monitor.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Thier is sumthing
rong with yur koputer, but ewe cant figyur
outt watt!

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing
works, but all your diagnostic software says
everything is fine.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless.
but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking
about it.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your
hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which
does practically nothing; but all of which claim to be
the most important part of your computer.

GALLUP VIRUS: 60% of the PC's infected will lose
30% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a
3.5% margin on error)

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any
other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes
out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks
up and the screen splits in half with the same
message appearing on each side. The message
says that the blame for the gridlock id caused by
the other side.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: Your in Dallas, but
your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes
obsessed with marrying it's own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your program stops running every
few minutes to ask for money.

ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and
lazy; then self destructs only to surface at shopping
malls and service stations across rural America.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to
become a paper shredder.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you
buy new cables, power supply and shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your program can never be
found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down
as an act of mercy.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places
where no virus has gone before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day,
finds nothing wrong and sends you abill for $4,500.00.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly saying;
"Read my docs...No New Files!" on the screen. It
proceeds to fill up all the space on your hard drive
with new files, then blames it on the Congressional
Virus.

 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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