Quote from Forum Archives on September 12, 2004, 8:02 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

Please Keep Niki in prayer and also the family. We are waiting for answers to some tests and will post a update when we receive any news. Niki has had some set backs but things are improving.

 

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Letter To A Pastor

 

 

To My Dear Friend Pastor Wally Bullhorn,

 

I sure hope attendance at your church was better'n
my church.
Mercy, pastorin' ain't always easy, now is it? We had
us a bunch of sick folk, and them added to all the shut- ins made for a
whole lot uh pew cushion to look at
from the pulpit.
I got to admit, I was feelin' somewhat put out, but I
went ahead a preached anyhows. Only thing was, with
all them people missin' the echo in the church gave me
a hoot of a head ache.
My wife said I needed to git out and ride a bit 'cause
the fresh air would make me feel better.
Well, she took to drivin' and I took to ridin' and sure
'nuff, she was right. Not only did my head clear up, but
what I saw renewed my faith in the Good Lord. I tell
you, Brother, I seen miracle after miracle!
My Sunday School superintendent, Hank Weaselbaum
had called to tell me that he was so deathly sick, he
wouldn't make it to church. But there he was, drivin'
down the road with his favorite fishin' pole stickin' out
the window. I tell you, only a miracle coulda' snatched
him out'a the jaws of death that way!
Then there was my head deacon, Wilbur Snooch. He
had done left a message on my answerin' machine that
his back was so jerked out'a line that he thought he
might have to have surgery. But I want you to know
that when we drove past the golf course, there he was,
hittin' golf balls on the drivin' range. Hallelujah, our
prayers worked!
Edna Brump sent word with her sister that she wouldn't
make it 'cause her stomach was all upset and she didn't
want to take a chance on havin' a mishap in the church.
But glory! There she was, standin' in line at the Feedin'
Trough Smorgasbord. Another healin'!
All told, we saw that 20 of our sick folk had takin' a
turn for the better and were up and about. Not only
that, but I just couldn't help from rejoicin' over all our
shut-ins that got themselves healed too.
There was Sam Burply, who don't attend church much
causin' of him being allergic to crowds, and he was in
line to buy a ticket at the ball park.
Margaret Guffhunker, who's been feelin' all poor and
sickly that she's done missed the last eight Sundays,
she was comin' out of the mall with both arms full of
packages.
And then there was Horace Dweedle, who ain't been
to church in six months cause'a his bum knee; he was
playin' basketball down at the park.
Seein' all these mighty miracles and healin's got me so
worked up, I started singin' the Doxology!
Yes, sir, Brother Blowhorn, I'm excited! I just know
we'll be havin' us a packed house next Sunday, what
with all the sick and shut-ins revived by such a touch
from Heaven. I look forward to givin' you right nice
report.

 

Your good friend,
Pastor William Robert ("Billy-Bob")

Kids Letters To A Pastor   

 

 

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He
never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold.
Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete.
Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson.
Age 11, Miami

 

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty.
Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette.
Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen.
Age 8, Chicago

Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen.
Age 9, Tacoma

 

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor.
Age 12, Sarasota

Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie.
Age 10, New York City

Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen.
Age 9, Athens

 

Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander.
Age 10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua.
Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God?
Sincerely, Christopher.
Age 9, Titusville

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla.
Age 10, Salina

 

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph.
Age 11, Akron

 

Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie.
Age 9, Lewisto

 

 

Stubborn  

 

 

My two daughters often tease their grandfather about being stubborn, a trait he strenuously denies. One day Grandpa was telling them about a horse-pack trip he had taken up the Continental Divide. "The guides felt that the personalities of horse and rider should be compatible," he related. "They matched us up carefully." "What was your horse like?" one daughter broke in. Grandpa's answer was reluctant. "They gave me a mule," he said.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

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