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Little Johnny Wednesday
#1 · January 11, 2005, 5:30 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Little Johnny"
Little Johnny came home one night rather depressed.
"What's the matter." asked his mother.
"What's the matter." asked his mother.
"Aw, gee," said Little Johnny, "it's my grades. They're all wet."
"What do you mean 'all wet?'" asked his mother.
"You know," he replied, "below C-level."
"School Project"
My 12-year-old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a
baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project."
baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project."
I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project
was. A few days later, I was in her classroom for a
parent-teacher meeting when noticed my face pinned to
a mural the students had created. The title was
"The Oldest Thing in my House."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Groceries"
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith in God and for her
boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch daily
and shout;
"PRAISE THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so
angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady and she prayed for GOD to send
her some assistance. Once again, she stood on her porch and shouted;
"PRAISE THE LORD..GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A
HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
her some assistance. Once again, she stood on her porch and shouted;
"PRAISE THE LORD..GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A
HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and found a large bag
of groceries and shouted;
"Praise the Lord."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said,
"Ha..Ha. I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God
didn't" The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands
and saying, "Praise the Lord, He not only sent me groceries but HE made
the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"
of groceries and shouted;
"Praise the Lord."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said,
"Ha..Ha. I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God
didn't" The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands
and saying, "Praise the Lord, He not only sent me groceries but HE made
the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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